can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
