He disabled his match.com account in front of me
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
