"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
