i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
