Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
