Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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