My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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