the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize