I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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