How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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