On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Randomize