What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
