dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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