I hate your face
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
