so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
