Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
