Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
