You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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