is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Come see our sink grown plant.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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