I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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