I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
