So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
