Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
