3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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