apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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