Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
