Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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