found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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