I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
