At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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