My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
