I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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