I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
