I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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