Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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