Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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