Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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