All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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