got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
smell my finger.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
