I'm going to rape someone's good day.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
