There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
