Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize