yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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