He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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