Duck Duck Cougar?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
