Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
