people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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