GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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