This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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