Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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