So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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