I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
