He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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