I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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