The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
