420 ftw
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Randomize
