she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
