So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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