I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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