If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
